Danny loved poetry, and Ava loves Gerald the giraffe and the Gruffalo. Both my children love listening to stories, cuddling, and spending time looking at books. While my parenting style has changed, many things have remained the same. Despite the differences, some things never change While Ava has definitely been more isolated during the pandemic, I have felt less alone with my anxieties. Being able to read about their experiences, which speak about uncertainty, fear, and guilt, has been wonderful, particularly during pandemic lockdowns, when in-person baby and toddler groups weren't up and running. With the internet, I'm able to find mothers who share my worries, as well as my experiences. Having an online community of honest mothers has been a gift this time around. Though there are sometimes options for gender-neutral clothes, Ava would love shirts with spaceships on them, too, but there simply aren't as many available in the girls section. I have noticed how girls clothes are often covered in glitter or images of pink unicorns, while boys clothes often have animals or scientific themes. It helped me dispel the guilt.Īfter having Ava, in recent years, I've become more aware of how gendered many aspects of childhood are, despite many cultural changes that have become more accepting, and aware of the fluidity of gender. When I found websites and bloggers who argued that "fed is best," I appreciated their insight. It felt like the general message I was hearing was that "breast is best," and I felt guilty every time I needed to make Ava a bottle of formula. This time, I couldn't breastfeed exclusively because I had autoimmune problems and struggled to make enough milk. Now there's no smoking in public spaces, and there are even dedicated breastfeeding spaces in many public places. I remember breastfeeding in public toilets with cigarette ash on the toilet-roll holders. When I had Danny, it wasn't like this at all. I feel much more aware of the importance of support, adequate nutrition, and symptoms of postnatal depression. In many ways, parenting has become far more holistic, with a new focus on mother and infant health. Parents share openly that self-doubt and anxiety are normal. Researchers such as Rumbi Görgens from Embrace continually challenge the myth that motherhood is an individual task and point out the enormous level of support that new mothers need. Culturally, we're far more open now about parenting struggles and how anxious and lonely it can feel. It seems as though the changes that have happened within society have also shifted parenting beliefs. With my 2nd child, parenting priorities and gender norms have changed I haven't lived her experiences, so I'm learning to shift my beliefs by listening to Danny, as well as the younger parents around me. As an artistic child who never really enjoyed school, she encouraged me to keep Ava away from academic pressure and let her find her own footing.ĭanny's insights come from her experiences, which is how every generation becomes more self-aware of their upbringing. Now parenting focuses on intrinsic motivation, or giving your children the confidence, freedom, and support to discover what they love. It feels as though most of the knowledge I gained last time just doesn't apply. While it's true that I might not be as anxious as before, I still feel overwhelmed at times. But my experience has been very different. So I thought I'd be less anxious with Ava and that things this go-around would be easier. Despite my worries, Danny turned out fine. I worried she would end up troubled, distressed, or having a horrible illness with symptoms I might not notice. Though the books should have helped, I instead felt worried that I would unthinkingly let Danny down. With Danny, I was young and anxious, and I read multiple psychology and childcare books. When I had her, I thought I would be far more confident, having parented before. My second daughter, Ava, is almost 3 years old and is a bubbly chatterbox who doesn't like to sit still. She's always been a deep thinker and takes in all aspects of life. My first child, Danny, was born when I was 25. I have two children, and they're 21 years apart in age. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
0 kommentar(er)
